Madonna

You know I think I’m in a state of shock, I know, I know this was over,

Madonna

but it’s, it’s like last week in Spain, I really felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t take the crowds outside, I couldn’t do the shows, it was too hot. Everything was getting to me and I thought, oh, I’m just. I think I am getting ready for the depression of what I’m going to feel when the tour’s over with. But I really didn’t feel emotional last night. I know everybody else did and everyone else was crying. But I didn’t feel emotional, it was like it had already ended for me, in fact it was like you know someone is dying, you have to make your peace, kind of before they die. I’ve done this with close friends of mine. I make my peace with it before it happens, so I don’t get really hurt. And then, when it happens, it’s like, I don’t feel anything, but I know I’m going to feel something later. I just don’t know when that’s going to be. Because it’s a protection device, I hope I’m in a safe place when it happens.
For some strange reason, I failed to realize that the first leg of the tour was during the rainy season in Japan. So, for three straight weeks we performed the show in a blizzard. But the dancers are so excited to be performing for an audience. The world could have been blowing up and they wouldn’t have cared. I, on the other hand, was not in the mood for Eskimos on ice. And I think the only thing that kept me from slashing my wrists was the thought of coming back to America and doing show the way it was meant to be.
By the time we left Japan, I found myself growing really attached to the dancers and I started feeling like a mother to them. When we finally got to America, I got the chance to meet the mothers of all the children that I had temporarily claimed as my own, the parents were usually as colorful as their kids. I think, I’ve unconsciously, chosen people that are emotionally crippled in some way, or who need mothering in some way. Because I think, it comes very natural to me. That fulfills I think I need in me to be mothered. Their innocence, the innocence of the dancers moved me, you know they’re not taken in the least, they haven’t been anywhere. This is the opportunity of their lives, and they know that they suffered a great deal in their lives whether with their families, or just being poor or whatever. And I wanted to give them the thrill of their lives, I wanted to impress them, I wanted to love them.

depression 沮丧，消沉  

protection 保护        

blizzard 暴风雪
slash 砍，割，

slash somebody’s wrist 割脉，这里指极度疯狂。 

temporarily 暂时地
unconsciously 无意识地  

cripple 使不足  

innocence  n. 天真无邪
thrill  n. 一阵激动的感觉

麦当娜

你知道我觉得自己仍处于震荡状态，巡回表演虽已结束，但是，象在西班牙最后的那个星期，我感到几乎精神崩溃。天太热了，没有演出。我想我已准备接受演唱会将结束所带来的失落感。但昨晚，我并没有情绪激动；除我之外，他们都在哭。只有我没有情绪激动，对我来说，一切都好象结束了，实际上正像你所知道的那样，当某人快要死时，你必须先平静下来。我曾经历过至友的死，事先我使自己心情平静，于是，我没有很伤心，发生时像没有感觉一样。但我知道随后这感觉会涌出来，只是不知会是何时。这大概是一种保护措施。希望这感觉来时我可以处于平静的状态。
由于某种奇怪的原因，我没料到巡回演出的第一站是在日本的雨季，一连三周都是大风雪的天，但舞蹈演员们都兴奋地表演着，就算世界末日来临他们都不在乎。而我却不适应。另外，我还不至于疯狂，因为我知道很快就能返回美国做我以往的表演。
当我们离开日本的时候，我感到舞蹈演员们渐渐依赖我，使我开始感到像他们的母亲一样，当我们最终抵达美国时，我有机会接触到那些我把他们的子女当作自己的孩子们看待的真正的母亲，见到他们就像见到他们的子女一样。我想我已不自觉地选择了一些感情有缺陷的人，或都需要母爱的人。这选择来得很自然，因为它满足了我做母亲的愿望。这些舞蹈演员的真性情打动了我。你知道他们哪里都没有去过，这是他们一生的机会。他们知道他们遭受过大量的痛苦，或是出身贫苦，生活潦倒。我一心要改善他们的生活境况，要感动他们，要用心爱他们。

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